so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
