who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
