guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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