So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
