wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Shame - the story of my life.
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