so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
