I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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