i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
