First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
