Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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