im gay
i know
yea but for you.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
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the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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