Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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