Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
