You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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