You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
