This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
