paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize