I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
