This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
