I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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