Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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