And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
