Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize