I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
