Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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