Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
