FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
birth control should be required to get into college
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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