Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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