he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
