how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize