dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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