you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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