I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
