in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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