I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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