i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
