i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
