it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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