They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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