the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
