belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
