Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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