this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
