your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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