So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
