$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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