I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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