I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
