oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
