Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
