I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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