If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
