so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
