Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
