I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
