Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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