Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
it was like eating out sand paper
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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