Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
