New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
